The star commodity of the green future

Stop me when you figure out what I’m listing. Fizzy drinks. Beer. Fertilisers. Dry ice. Cement. Fuels. Refrigeration. Metalwork. Chemicals.

If you told a transition activist that all of these require the use of carbon dioxide they would probably accuse you of shilling for the oil industry. Or denying the science. Or they would simply dismiss the facts and pretend they don’t exist.

What would be more difficult to dismiss is this recent vote by the European Parliament to phase out so-called F-gases. Why? Because they warm the atmosphere, of course. And what is Europe going to replace these gases with? CO2. And propane.

I realise this already reads like a low-grade play of the absurd but let’s make it even funnier. According to the European Environment Agency, “Fluorinated gases (F-gases) are man-made gases used in a range of industrial applications. F-gases are often used as substitutes for ozone-depleting substances because they do not damage the atmospheric ozone layer.”

They were introduced as a substitute for chlorofluorocarbons that were very, very, VERY bad for the ozone layer. But that was back in the dark ages of the past when we cared about the ozone layer.

Now that we care about the whole atmosphere and each and every molecule of CO2, I mean, greenhouse gases, the F band has fallen out of grace. Plummeted, more like.

“F-gases are powerful greenhouse gases, with an even higher warming potential than carbon dioxide (CO₂). They thus contribute greatly to climate change,” we learn from the EEA and are appropriately impressed.

“F-gases are an invisible threat to our climate and undermine our efforts to stop global warming,” a Dutch Green MP said following the EP vote and that sounds even more impressive. But, as the ancient saying goes, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

From Euractiv:

“In most instances, natural alternatives [to F-gases] are readily available,” Eickhout said. These alternatives – be it propane or CO2 – do not significantly contribute to the greenhouse effect.

Yes, you read that right. A Green politician clearly concerned about climate change says that propane and CO2 do not significantly contribute to the greenhouse effect.

Excuse me while I drop my mic.