Blue flame bad

I was wondering how to approach the Cirque de Soleil-level energy spectacle currently unfolding in Europe without sounding too vindictive or otherwise irreverent and, having established there was no way to do that, was about to launch into a 1,000-word mockery session when a headline popped up in my news feed. The headline said Cancer-causing chemical found to be leaking from gas cookers and referred to a study that claimed that some gas stoves in two continental European countries plus the UK leaked dangerous amounts of benzene.

The study, from an outlet called PSE Health Energy, based in California, could not have come at a better time. Now, Europe has a perfectly legitimate reason to enforce gas use limits, thereby avoiding a supply crisis so massive 2022 would look like a picnic. Only, of course, it can’t because that would make “Daddy” angry and making “Daddy” angry is unwise because he might stop liking the Eurokids. Also, it can’t because that would be the end of industry and life in comfort in Europe. But the study could still come in handy, nevertheless, because some sort of “demand response” seems inevitable at this point. Yeah, again.